Life

Random musings.

Adulting

So it’s been nearly 9 months since I’ve graduated, and boy has the time flown by. My training is nearly ending, and within a month, I’ll be working full time not as a trainee, but as a professional.

I didn’t think this moment would come so quickly, but it has and I’m not sure I’m entirely ready for it. Work starts immediately after training ends, and there’s no time to breathe and internalise the fact that I’m truly an adult now, with no more excuses about being in education or training.

On one hand, I really just want to curl up in bed and be a NEET. There’s just something so appealing about being absolutely free of responsibility. But on the other hand, I’ve studied for years and years for this moment. Granted, it wasn’t exactly what I envisioned as a child, but the past half-decade of learning has been dedicated to this career, and it’s a career that I do enjoy. It’s not exactly my greatest dreams come true, but it’s certainly a culmination of all that I’ve done so far in life, and something I look forward to.

It’s more than a little intimidating though. Patient lives are literally at stake, and I have to accept full responsibility for any mistakes I make. It feels like the calm before the storm right now, and I hope I can cope.

I do feel lucky though, that my life has been pretty smooth-sailing thus far. I’ve had supportive parents who have given me everything I could possibly need. I’ve had pretty much some of the best education one can get, gotten into the schools I wanted to enter, got into a university course that was my second (and on hindsight, the best) choice, and got myself a stable job (pending a 6 month probation period) at my training institution, just as I was about to scramble to send out my resume and find a job elsewhere. I certainly haven’t had as many downs as ups, and I can only be grateful for it.

So here’s to keeping patients safe and well, to filing taxes, to managing bills, and to successful adulting.

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Graduation

So I’ve just officially graduated from university, and it honestly doesn’t feel very special. I suppose it’s because almost immediately after the final exams, my clique went overseas for our grad trip, and then I spent my holidays gaming before work started. And once work started, graduation just didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. There wasn’t any immediacy, and so I could not feel the joy I thought I might feel.

I wonder if this apathy over graduation is also due to how I feel about my choice of course. I’ve wondered umpteen times whether I’m suited to this line of work, and I still do. I wonder if I’m prepared enough, if I love this work enough to keep going for decades, if I should pursue another less demanding career to devote time to chasing other passions. It’s strange to think how convinced I was that I would enjoy helping people, that I would enjoy being in the healthcare industry. I still do want to help, but selfish feelings have led me to gaze longingly at pastures different.

I don’t regret the choices I made, because even if I don’t love the job, I can be satisfied knowing that if I do it well, I’ll be directly helping people and contributing to society. And it’s a heck of a lot more stable as a job compared to being a mediocre writer who can’t even finish a fanfiction, let alone a proper novel.

It’s easy to tell someone to chase their dreams. But sometimes, dreams must remain dreams. Now that I’ve graduated, I guess it’s time to put aside the life of a child, and move on to become an adult.

This transition is going to be tough.

history of the entire world, i guess

This video has been trending recently, and it does deserve its viral appeal. Condensing so much history into a 20min video is pretty impressive, and while its ridiculously fast paced, it feels like I can follow the content to a large extent.

That could also be because I know quite a bit of what he’s talking about though. Well, at least it’s definitely entertaining. And another one of his previous works, history of japan, is just as fun to watch:

Worth it.

AIAIAI TMA-2

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I had thrown my money away by recycling most of my headphones, because the PU leather on the headbands were disintegrating and I couldn’t get them replaced. The rubber cable sheath on my ATH-AD900 also broke, which meant that I was effectively down to just my Grado, which isn’t really comfortable for long periods of listening.

I didn’t want to switch fully to IEMs either, because wearing them for long can be uncomfortable sometimes. So, having been previously intrigued by the modular nature of the AIAIAI TMA-2, I decided to go for them.

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Fidget Spinner

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So I decided to buy into the fad and get one of them fidget spinner thingamajigs. Feeling rich, I went for one with a nicer aluminium body (supposedly), and the online store I bought it from threw in the regular one. I also purposely went for what is a ‘limited edition’ colouration, different from the usual black or gold or whatever.

It’s definitely occupied my hands more than my fidget cube, which is falling apart a little too quickly for my tastes. This particular one I got isn’t exactly a marvel of manufacturing, since one of the black rings kept falling out, and the ball bearings can get caught and prevent a smooth spinning experience.

There’s a shallow learning curve for spinning it at a good clip using just one hand, and I’ve taken it apart more times than I can remember to try fruitlessly to get the ball bearings to stop catching. Otherwise, nothing much to report, really. Can’t see it being any useful for ADHD patients no matter the marketing, but for someone with fidgety fingers like me, it’s pretty nice.

Awaiting the next fad.

The World Now

I recall distantly having written several political posts at the start of this blog, but then that promptly gave way to reviews of movies, TV shows and anime. I feel like it’s time to go back to talking and ranting about politics just a little, before I turn into someone completely divested from the world around me.

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