So I’ve just officially graduated from university, and it honestly doesn’t feel very special. I suppose it’s because almost immediately after the final exams, my clique went overseas for our grad trip, and then I spent my holidays gaming before work started. And once work started, graduation just didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. There wasn’t any immediacy, and so I could not feel the joy I thought I might feel.
I wonder if this apathy over graduation is also due to how I feel about my choice of course. I’ve wondered umpteen times whether I’m suited to this line of work, and I still do. I wonder if I’m prepared enough, if I love this work enough to keep going for decades, if I should pursue another less demanding career to devote time to chasing other passions. It’s strange to think how convinced I was that I would enjoy helping people, that I would enjoy being in the healthcare industry. I still do want to help, but selfish feelings have led me to gaze longingly at pastures different.
I don’t regret the choices I made, because even if I don’t love the job, I can be satisfied knowing that if I do it well, I’ll be directly helping people and contributing to society. And it’s a heck of a lot more stable as a job compared to being a mediocre writer who can’t even finish a fanfiction, let alone a proper novel.
It’s easy to tell someone to chase their dreams. But sometimes, dreams must remain dreams. Now that I’ve graduated, I guess it’s time to put aside the life of a child, and move on to become an adult.
This transition is going to be tough.