Stay Classy, Mourinho


The sweet scent of Chelsea’s defeat sends shivers of delight tingling down my spine.

First off, I have to congratulate Atletico and Simeone for getting to the Champions League Final. It’s the first ever intra-city CL final, and Atletico have done it without losing a single game in their entire Champions League campaign. That’s some record for a team who last hit the European Cup Final when Pepe Reina’s dad was in goal for them.

But Simeone has just brought them their 3rd European trophy final in the past 5 years, and winning one of those finals (a Europa triumph in 2012 I think). And they are on the verge of winning the La Liga as well. All this without sugar-daddy bankrolling like Chelsea/PSG/City, and without huge amounts of funds to snap up players from rival clubs like Barca/Real/Bayern. Hats off, Simeone.

And that quote about thanking the mothers of the players for giving them big cajones… *salute*


As for Chelsea…ah, the mercenaries of football. Under Mourinho, they’ve turned into a team made in his image, that of a grouchy, anti-football mob who would rather kick lumps out of opponents than play actual football. This, after millions and millions of dollars of investment into the team. Yes, I am bitter about losing to this horrid bunch in the EPL, but my point still stands.

I mean, c’mon, in a crucial must-win match to reach the Champions League final, Mourinho fields 6 defenders in his starting XI. According to a stat from Carra, in the 6 CL semi-finals that Mourinho has managed Chelsea in, his teams have only managed 2 goals. HAH!

And this is after he spends a gazillion dollars on attacking players. He bought Willian, Schurrle (I think), Salah, Eto’o, and still can’t get his team scoring. He also sells Mata, and lets Lukaku out on loan. Lukaku has scored more goals than all his current strikers combined, I believe. He’s in the Drogba mould, and yet Mourinho doesn’t fancy him. Instead, he’d rather play Schurrle in some false 9 role.

Oh, and he bought Matic for big money too. I see that helps a lot with your team winning, Jose. I despise big-spending clubs complaining about the lack of squad depth like Moan-inho so often does, when they have players who cost more than entire XIs sitting on the bench. I think in this match against Atletico, they had Eto’o, Ba, Schurrle, and Oscar on the bench. That’s probably more than Atletico’s first XI combined.

And then commentators say Mourinho needs to buy 3-4 more players to ‘impart his image on the team’. What a joke. The man can’t play attacking football. It’s not in his genes. He complains about his poor striker problems, when he could have just kept Lukaku. He could have spent the money he put on Salah and Willian into a striker, but he didn’t. He could have bought Matic another time, or even not at all. He didn’t.

Eden Hazard himself says that the team is not built to play attacking football, and that they ask him to go solo.

Heck, Di Matteo and Benitez have won European trophies for Chelsea in their half-seasons in charge. Mourinho can’t even get to a CL final with Chelsea in 4. And that’s after spending about £100m on players this season alone. And he can’t even get above City and Liverpool in the EPL. City, he may have grounds to say are superior in terms of the squad. But Liverpool? Torres costs more than twice our bench.

He talked after the Chelsea/Liverpool match about how he beat City and Liverpool. Shall we give you a trophy for beating the two teams that’ll end up ahead of you in the EPL then? It should make up for you not winning a trophy this season.

And I think it’s ridiculous how much leeway British commentators/pundits give Mourinho, talking about him parking the bus as some tactical masterclass, and how he needs to buy more talent in order to build his team. He has only won 2 trophies in the past 4 seasons as the manager of Real Madrid (whom, ironically are in the CL Final managed by a former Chelsea manager) and Chelsea, spending £272m in the process.

Guardiola could win his 18th trophy in just 5 seasons if he beats Dortmund in the German Cup, and he’s the one who has to change his entire style and philosophy.


And finally, some sweet, sweet revenge. Subbing on Eto’o, only for him to concede a penalty for a stupid tackle. The same Eto’o who went studs-in on Henderson back at Stamford Bridge but wasn’t punished for it.

Mourinho can complain all he wants, but a penalty’s a penalty. Don’t hide the fact that you can’t do it when it matters. He’s only won 2 out of 8 CL semi-finals. Specialist of failure, anyone?


Update: Just spotted a tweet on my timeline. Chelsea are hard to beat/break down? They’ve lost as many games in the league this season as Liverpool. Given their superior record against Top7 opposition, that means they’ve lost more of their games against mid-table/relegation sides. Bravo!


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