Opening Pandora’s Box

Once more, I plunge into the world of blogging. It’s been years since my ill-fated first attempt at one, and just recalling it makes me cringe. Then again, there was a time in my life when I actually used textspeak proudly. I’m so glad I’ve grown out of that phase.

I’m not sure what’s the real motivation behind doing this, given that I already have Twitter, which helps me air my views well enough. But maybe I just need more than 140 characters challenging my ability to summarise every thought I have. It’s always nice to have a platform to air my views in a lengthy manner, as befitting of someone who really talks too much.

May I enjoy putting my views up on the internet for precisely no one to see.

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Adulting

So it’s been nearly 9 months since I’ve graduated, and boy has the time flown by. My training is nearly ending, and within a month, I’ll be working full time not as a trainee, but as a professional.

I didn’t think this moment would come so quickly, but it has and I’m not sure I’m entirely ready for it. Work starts immediately after training ends, and there’s no time to breathe and internalise the fact that I’m truly an adult now, with no more excuses about being in education or training.

On one hand, I really just want to curl up in bed and be a NEET. There’s just something so appealing about being absolutely free of responsibility. But on the other hand, I’ve studied for years and years for this moment. Granted, it wasn’t exactly what I envisioned as a child, but the past half-decade of learning has been dedicated to this career, and it’s a career that I do enjoy. It’s not exactly my greatest dreams come true, but it’s certainly a culmination of all that I’ve done so far in life, and something I look forward to.

It’s more than a little intimidating though. Patient lives are literally at stake, and I have to accept full responsibility for any mistakes I make. It feels like the calm before the storm right now, and I hope I can cope.

I do feel lucky though, that my life has been pretty smooth-sailing thus far. I’ve had supportive parents who have given me everything I could possibly need. I’ve had pretty much some of the best education one can get, gotten into the schools I wanted to enter, got into a university course that was my second (and on hindsight, the best) choice, and got myself a stable job (pending a 6 month probation period) at my training institution, just as I was about to scramble to send out my resume and find a job elsewhere. I certainly haven’t had as many downs as ups, and I can only be grateful for it.

So here’s to keeping patients safe and well, to filing taxes, to managing bills, and to successful adulting.

Thor: Ragnarok

The hype was real with Thor: Ragnarok. I loved the idea of funny Thor in space with the Hulk bro-ing it up, and given Marvel’s track record, it was bound to be heaps of fun to watch, even if the plot may be a bit thin and the villains poor.

But man, did Thor: Ragnarok surprise me. While the plot and pacing was off, it defied my expectations and can handily call itself one of the most enjoyable Marvel films to date, plus it has an awesome villain.

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Fairy Tail END

It’s difficult for me to bid Fairy Tail a fond goodbye, given how much it has offended my sensibilities as it wore on, and how much I’ve crapped on it as a result of my annoyance at the series. But it has entertained me in its earlier arcs, and I’ve based my best fanfiction on its world.

So I’ll try to be more objective and push aside my grievances a little as I ramble on about the series that had sort of taken the place of Naruto as one of the big three manga for me.

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Graduation

So I’ve just officially graduated from university, and it honestly doesn’t feel very special. I suppose it’s because almost immediately after the final exams, my clique went overseas for our grad trip, and then I spent my holidays gaming before work started. And once work started, graduation just didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. There wasn’t any immediacy, and so I could not feel the joy I thought I might feel.

I wonder if this apathy over graduation is also due to how I feel about my choice of course. I’ve wondered umpteen times whether I’m suited to this line of work, and I still do. I wonder if I’m prepared enough, if I love this work enough to keep going for decades, if I should pursue another less demanding career to devote time to chasing other passions. It’s strange to think how convinced I was that I would enjoy helping people, that I would enjoy being in the healthcare industry. I still do want to help, but selfish feelings have led me to gaze longingly at pastures different.

I don’t regret the choices I made, because even if I don’t love the job, I can be satisfied knowing that if I do it well, I’ll be directly helping people and contributing to society. And it’s a heck of a lot more stable as a job compared to being a mediocre writer who can’t even finish a fanfiction, let alone a proper novel.

It’s easy to tell someone to chase their dreams. But sometimes, dreams must remain dreams. Now that I’ve graduated, I guess it’s time to put aside the life of a child, and move on to become an adult.

This transition is going to be tough.